Peter's Goodbye
by CammyWhammy
Summary: An insight to Peter's thoughts when saying goodbye to Wendy. What really happened, what he thought was going to happen, and how he really felt about it. Short side piece that parallels the original plot.


Wendy had passed out papers to all the Lost Boys, asking them questions such as 'What color where Mother's eyes?' and 'How tall was Father?'

Peter read the paper over and suffered for Wendy. He knew very well the feeling that Wendy felt. She was forgetting her parents and was trying desperately to remember them. Peter had done that once before, too. Although he had remembered them too late. Even now he knew that Wendy was remembering her parents too late. Peter had much more experience with Mothers than Wendy, being abandoned by his own years before. He felt so akin to the pattern of Wendy's alienation that he knew absolutely what was afoot. They were all lost children, with no mothers to wait for them at the window.

Peter played dumb. He answered foolish answers and pretended to not know how to read at all and answered questions with numbers when they did not call for a numerical answer. His greatest joy was to pretend he knew less than he knew, and even when Wendy made a huff about it, he laughed it off. He pretended, too, to feel less than he felt. Less fear, less sadness, more importantly less attachment. He could scarcely hide his grief for Wendy as he watched her struggle to answer her own assessment. Even looking at the paper, all the questions were in the past tense.

What _had_ mother sung before bedtime?

What color _did_ Father wear on Saturday night?

So, it would all happen very soon. Peter was anxious for it. He knew great sadness was to come for Wendy, but it was comfort to him that he should be the one to console her. In a way, he hoped it would come faster, if only Wendy's grief of seeing that her mother had shut the window would not destroy Peter as much as it would destroy Wendy. At least in this way, Wendy would stay with him forever.

Finally, it all came to a head, and Wendy declared that they all must go home. Everyone, as they always had done for all Lost Boys before, came aboard to the adventure to 'go home'. All except for Peter, who stayed silent on the subject. Not feeling playful enough to find fun in the impending sadness. It reminded him too much of his own. But still, Peter clung to his small comfort that as soon as Wendy would see the window shut, she would grieve, possibly on his shoulder, then they would fly back and Wendy would be his forever more. It just had to be done.

The flight was magical, most of the Lost Boys did not even know the goal of the adventure, and simply hopped along for the ride. Had they forgotten their own abandonment, Peter wondered, and felt for the first time not the best at pretending to forget. He held Wendy sweetly all the way there, Wendy thinking it was because they should soon say goodbye, Peter knowing it was because she should soon be heartbroken. But as they neared the little Window, the shutters, at least, were opened wide with candlelight pouring out into the cold night air, and Peter, with dawning horror, saw that the window was indeed open. He clung to Wendy tighter. Trying to scramble a goodbye to her that he could scarce comprehend. She was going to go inside that window and never return. Wendy would not be coming back with him. He looked to her, and begged that she would look at him so that he could speak his feelings through his grievous stare. But Wendy only looked at the window, and when they landed at it all Lost Boys and Wendy tumbled inside. Leaving Peter alone in the darkened night. He looked from afar as her Mother was awakened, and they all received thimbles on the forehead. Something inside of Peter sang. 'Go, Peter! Here is your second chance! Go, now!'. But he hung there frozen in the air.

"Are you not coming, Peter?" Wendy called from within.

"No." He responded. He wished she had suffered the same horrible abandonment he had suffered long ago. Only then, could he keep her. Peter was then shrouded with jealousy for Wendy. She was more loved than he ever was and ever will be. Her mother had waited.

"No!" He said again, only louder. Wendy disappeared again into the frame of the window.

"Will you come visit me?" She whispered. Peter suddenly forgot to hide his feelings.

"Oh, every spring time. I will never forget you." He said floating towards the window again. Mrs. Darling approached and Peter's hatred of mothers showed completely on him.

"Are you sure that you will not come, Peter?" She asked.

"Yes." He said. "After all, I will be just right over there." Peter said pointing aimlessly over behind him.

"I will see you next spring, Wendy." He said, sadly, then departed.

He did not come the year after.

In fact, he did not come ever again. Not through the window, anyways.


End file.
